I have not yet given up, but I am close to saying fuck you won’t see me around here anymore a doubtful heart a bleeding soul, I do not seem to have control of any battle in this raging war, but you know that it's in the nature of the game to be denied, to fall from grace and feel like dirt's kicked in your face rise stronger than you ever were or just sink deeper in the dirt but from the mud your voice it shall be heard so let my kingdom fall... but if I get up again, beware of what I am cause nothing is mightier than the heart of a wounded man so let may kingdom fall castles in the sky is what this reign is building on you must rule your own universe, before you reach the sun don't tell me, this throne is not mine to have 'cause these delusions of grandeur are all that we've got left… to lose a king or a pawn, whatever I am I gotta fight these wars I'm in oh, I never seem to win a single one or is it that all the battles have not yet begun? I will take my stand or fade, fade away I'll take my stand or fade, fade away I'll take my stand or fade, fade away to a time and place, where nothing bothers me 'cause this is where it starts or where it ends I'll take my stand or fade away my crown will shine, if I muster up the will to refullfill this reign of mine that has been written and will take its place in time so let my kingdom fall – tonight

if I wanna get with you I must get down with everybody else these are the rules for gals like you I did not make them up myself I'm tired of all my old mistakes, it's time to make some new ones I'll throw my dick around the room, like it's a free meal coupon I'll go with any stupid trend and I'll sell my soul once more cause I'd rather have a sold out soul, than a bed without a whore and this is now where you come in you ripped my eyeballs free from skin in fact instead of focusing I should have spread my dingeling you build your army of baboons and let them circle you like moons you simply like the way they spin so you don't tell them they can't win but I won't play your game, my princess I'll change the rules, so I can win this I'll build an army of my own of stupid witless amazones as I'm fucking my way up the throne but once I'm on the top what makes you think that I would stop for you you're just a stepping stone for all studs so guess what: you’ll die an old and lonely slut still... if I wanna … fuck you I first will have to fuck everyone else these are the rules for gals like you I did not make them up myself

ten years have passed, I cannot rest feeling that I gave up on the path that would have kept you in my life somehow, somewhere, a part of mine I damn sure fool myself with this fabricated life I miss but it feels like you and I both gave up too fast ten years ago ten years have passed, too fast, too slow ravenous, you ate away my soul though you fade paler every year I can't say you are not still here with you I'd be a different man if I'd like me better I can't say I might feel I was never free 'cause satisfied I'll never be and you left me here aimless straying on from year to year and I left you there wherever you have found your smiles and tears and you left me here as shadow of the glow that made this life and I left you there not knowing that love might not find you twice

so why do I think I should be like the guys you see on TV and I don’t even mean their physique, not their confidence or mystique what I'm talking about is their unwaning will to believe that their shit is the one we all should eat now don't get me wrong if it seems, I'm speakin' ill of the showbiz-league they are the ones who made me believe, that I could unload my heaps on you creeps but I'll never fit into your eyes coming through the silver screen I'm just a whole galaxy away from the american dream but I can still make a difference in this just need to get the plug out of my ass and give you something that would else be missed although these words sound so hollow empty shells that I spit at the mirror If I don't take a stand like De Niro… and deliver all of us now that I've watched every last person live you would think it's now my time to give but I’m a Black Hole just a bottom less pit I absorb and I never emit I’ve spent my days and weeks watching other people succeed in a blaze of booze and weed and an idle hand that sneaks down the crotch 'cause once your lost in lala-land, where ignorance is bliss you forget you're not the host, you're just a guest some time so long gone about heroes songs were sung today the hero is the one with a mike on the lungs and a cam in the face so before the age of entertainment ends, as real time's begun I plan to be the host of the final run ...last broadcast in 5..4..3.. 'cause there is still some time left just need to get the plug out of my ass and work as hard as I have never have although these words sound so hollow empty shells that I spit at the mirror if I don't take a stand like De Niro… and deliver all of us could have been the cure but now I am the curse lurking to swallow the whole universe it's not that I’m empty but all I take in is just narrowed down to the fact I can't win I cannot win, I'll never win because my heart is black and I'm bound for blues I deny the light and won't let you see on through to the other side

so now that I'm down – down – down to my last braincell I can finally see with my eyes closed and my mind shrapnelled that we are going down but not in history, we're sinking like a mystery like Atlantis once so proud just a shadow deep down underground bring the pain back – my brain is at its best when I am turning it into a total trainwreck – next time that 'm high I will just write myself a valid mental raincheck – so I might enlight without looking for the needle in the drunken haystack – but oh, the rules just won't apply here for a straight edge no - you just can't find the truth back on the sober side it's just like waking up is one big override you will have to get back into the twilight hoping for a longer ride so I'm again down - down – down to my last braincell I can finally see with my eyes closed and my mind shrapnelled that we are going down but not in history, we’re sinking like a mystery like Atlantis once so proud just a shadow deep down underground on the bottom lies the past, in our memory fading fast the only things that ever last are unsolved riddles minds can't grasp so I made it my main quest to test this mind on loops and gaps find the defective synapse that will open up the golden chest warp my vision – I know one more way how you can pick up bits of underlying wisdom – when you fall asleep there will – be a second when you hear the elders whisper – telling secrets that make you believe you figured out the riddles of existence - but oh, the clarity is always just a drifter no, you just can't grasp the essence of the overmind it's just like waking up is one big override you will have to get back into the twilight hoping for a longer ride so now that I'm down down down, down down down so now that I'm down down down, down down down down down to my last braincell I can finally see with my eyes closed and my mind shrapnelled

something is wrong, I cannot belong in a world that craves for fun when I'm always on the run for something I can't gun down I'll never see a sundown till the day I'm wrung out strung up from the roof cannot make a move, with that much left to prove still addicted to lose, cause it's an epic way to bruise will never find my groove until the day I lose this self-destructive search for blues all my life I ran from pleasure thought the pain would suit me better now I feel, I'll never find the treasure so I just wanna be a rack attacker even when the mood is rising I fuck up the horizon unable to lay eyes on any pretty scenery what could it ever mean to me caught in between a dream and an unusable reality all my life I ran from pleasure thought the pain would suit me better now I think, I'll never find the treasure so I just wanna be a rack attacker oh, if I just gave it up I might just one day find my luck I could be dancing in your club I would be prancing like a schmock and all the while I would be smiling with a hollow heart of self-deceit 'cause deep inside I would still feel the need to find my glory in defeat and so I bleed… and drop the bead all my life I ran from pleasure thought the pain would suit me better now I know, I'll never find the treasure so I just wanna be a rack attacker I was born tonight, tonight I lost my life tonight I'm 25 or anything I'd ever like you'll believe my lies when I creep inside your mind and give you the illusion that none of us would... ever have to die

my soul is free my future lies ahead imprisoned in a mind that's too short-sighted to adapt a million ways to make my life fulfilled and I hate all of them, have no ambition and no will everything's been done before, what is the fucking point just push the limits on and you will see there's more to find I only wanna die and just be left the fuck alone but I have so much more to say and all the things I know cannot just be gone I'm dead on! I am wrong! schizophrenia, hypomania, bipolar, borderline all these never did quite work for me add a pinch of self-despising hate for your divinity and I cooked up my very own disease dialectic disorder, I'm close to the border moodswings in seconds, light-hearted to blackened should I ignite, make this world my bride should I combust, give in to my frustrations I must pick one of my sides but I can't decide 'cause I'm caught inside a dialectic disorder these people are so stupid, a plague would be the cure everyone is born an angel with a heart that's pure this life is just a prison cell, I'm rotting in this cage this world is big and wonderful and every place is waiting to be your stage the mysteries of life excite my mind and you can live forever but an answer you won't find the wonders, they amaze me, there is so much to explore and the shit will all burn anyways, when in five billion years the sun explodes I am bored! I am stoked!

once more – cuddling in myself the sound of this old broken record makes me feel like I am home too late – to find the cure the poison of my misery it keeps me sane, it keeps me warm don’t fear – that I might drown as long as this mind swims in circles I won’t see I’m all alone don’t wake me up I feel alive, when I can rot you may be fine, chasing your life but I am not, no I am not don’t wake me up I feel alive, when I can rot inside my hive of broken thoughts I feel like god, yes I am god so please excuse my blashphemy but I’m just so caught up inside o' me that not even your god could set me free my life is a dirty sketch I keep the colours off the picture to make a point that noone gets so scared – to feel content cause happiness would mean stagnation serenity’s creation’s end sink down – down ye old pond cause at the bottom of the lake the biggest fish waits to be caught and though I still speak god-damn blasphemy this is the only fitting way for me a lowlife living his supremacy

you know I'm new here, my toes tell me to quit you slut my thoughts are dark but crystal clear you know I want you, want you near you made us one, then you balk, face my fist, strip the talk, yeah I’m here cause there is no other place that’s home, my home I‘m not so fond of what I’ve grown should be heading out - drop the crown your sallow skin, got it well raise your head now we’re thin, yeah the day that’s passed takes care of what? and I can see nothing on top no I will never crush this fence I know where I can't roam the day that's passed takes care of what and I can see nothing on top I know you ignore less life itching my skin so long, I hate that you are fine I have to give up, give up god we won’t grow old, keep me close, shut your mouth, we are sold, yeah can’t tell you what is, now what is wrong with me, what’s up? there’s nothing my day will let me add so go to hell or where we were born I’m true today, what have you, have you come, come and sworn, yeah it hurts more than tomorrow can one less life I can deny and I can’t tell you what is wrong 'cause you keep talking forever long

shit man, I need a hitman for myself maybe to split my brain in half a little axe between the ears so that the left won’t have to hear no more shit from the right hemisphere, because I can’t stand my constant nagging always seem to drag myself in conversations with a madman stupid shit you can’t imagine and that goes a little something like this: man, you suck, stupid little schmock wish somebody would just hit you with a fucking truck I never get a break and I’m always outta luck this life is like a cage and I am completely stuck if you two don’t just shut up, I swear, I’ll pull the fucking plug release me from myself this is my final cry for help I can’t breath within my shell it feels like I am trapped in hell shit man, I need a hitman for myself unloading in my chest a round of shells to open up my heart towards the world and finally make an end to this disturbed excuse for a life, that i try to preserve just excuses not to let go sole reclusive in the shadows in the gates stuck from the get-go could at least have made someone widow but busy with my wood like Gepetto always: first things first, I need to jerk my thirst immerse in the perversion that became my curse rehearsing all the versions of the perfect girl which nurtures the aversion to personal intercourse as every burst takes me further away from the world I built this prison on my own and mistook it for a throne in my kingdom I’m alone I milked this schism for what it’s worth, now I need a rebirth find a way to lift this curse help me lift this curse, kill this demon deliver my rebirth, give me freedom