1. |
Brain Surgery
01:40
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2. |
Kingdom Fall
04:03
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I have not yet given up, but I am close to saying fuck
you won’t see me around here anymore
a doubtful heart a bleeding soul, I do not seem to have control
of any battle in this raging war, but you know that
it's in the nature of the game to be denied, to fall from grace
and feel like dirt's kicked in your face
rise stronger than you ever were or just sink deeper in the dirt
but from the mud your voice it shall be heard
so let my kingdom fall...
but if I get up again, beware of what I am cause nothing
is mightier than the heart of a wounded man
so let may kingdom fall
castles in the sky is what this reign is building on
you must rule your own universe, before you reach the sun
don't tell me, this throne is not mine to have
'cause these delusions of grandeur are all that we've got left… to lose
a king or a pawn, whatever I am
I gotta fight these wars I'm in
oh, I never seem to win a single one
or is it that all the battles have not yet begun?
I will take my stand or fade, fade away
I'll take my stand or fade, fade away
I'll take my stand or fade, fade away
to a time and place, where nothing bothers me
'cause this is where it starts or where it ends
I'll take my stand or fade away
my crown will shine, if I muster up the will
to refullfill this reign of mine that has been written
and will take its place in time
so let my kingdom fall – tonight
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3. |
Princess of Baboons
03:23
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if I wanna get with you
I must get down with everybody else
these are the rules for gals like you
I did not make them up myself
I'm tired of all my old mistakes, it's time to make some new ones
I'll throw my dick around the room, like it's a free meal coupon
I'll go with any stupid trend and I'll sell my soul once more
cause I'd rather have a sold out soul, than a bed without a whore
and this is now where you come in
you ripped my eyeballs free from skin
in fact instead of focusing
I should have spread my dingeling
you build your army of baboons
and let them circle you like moons
you simply like the way they spin
so you don't tell them they can't win
but I won't play your game, my princess
I'll change the rules, so I can win this
I'll build an army of my own
of stupid witless amazones
as I'm fucking my way up the throne
but once I'm on the top
what makes you think that I would stop for you
you're just a stepping stone for all studs
so guess what: you’ll die an old and lonely slut
still...
if I wanna … fuck you
I first will have to fuck everyone else
these are the rules for gals like you
I did not make them up myself
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4. |
Ten Years
03:41
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ten years have passed, I cannot rest
feeling that I gave up on the path
that would have kept you in my life
somehow, somewhere, a part of mine
I damn sure fool myself with this
fabricated life I miss
but it feels like you and I both
gave up too fast ten years ago
ten years have passed, too fast, too slow
ravenous, you ate away my soul
though you fade paler every year
I can't say you are not still here
with you I'd be a different man
if I'd like me better I can't say
I might feel I was never free
'cause satisfied I'll never be
and you left me here
aimless straying on from year to year
and I left you there
wherever you have found your smiles and tears
and you left me here
as shadow of the glow that made this life
and I left you there
not knowing that love might not find you
twice
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5. |
Black Hole Me
06:10
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so why do I think I should be like the guys you see on TV
and I don’t even mean their physique, not their confidence or mystique
what I'm talking about is their unwaning will to believe
that their shit is the one we all should eat
now don't get me wrong if it seems, I'm speakin' ill of the showbiz-league
they are the ones who made me believe, that I could unload my heaps on you creeps
but I'll never fit into your eyes coming through the silver screen
I'm just a whole galaxy away from the american dream
but I can still make a difference in this
just need to get the plug out of my ass
and give you something that would else be missed
although these words sound so hollow
empty shells that I spit at the mirror
If I don't take a stand like De Niro… and deliver all of us
now that I've watched every last person live
you would think it's now my time to give
but I’m a Black Hole just a bottom less pit
I absorb and I never emit
I’ve spent my days and weeks watching other people succeed
in a blaze of booze and weed and an idle hand that sneaks down the crotch
'cause once your lost in lala-land, where ignorance is bliss
you forget you're not the host, you're just a guest
some time so long gone about heroes songs were sung
today the hero is the one with a mike on the lungs and a cam in the face
so before the age of entertainment ends, as real time's begun
I plan to be the host of the final run
...last broadcast in 5..4..3..
'cause there is still some time left
just need to get the plug out of my ass
and work as hard as I have never have
although these words sound so hollow
empty shells that I spit at the mirror
if I don't take a stand like De Niro… and deliver all of us
could have been the cure but now I am the curse
lurking to swallow the whole universe
it's not that I’m empty but all I take in
is just narrowed down to the fact I can't win
I cannot win, I'll never win
because my heart is black and I'm bound for blues
I deny the light and won't let you see
on through to the other side
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6. |
Last Braincell
05:01
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so now that I'm down – down – down to my last braincell
I can finally see with my eyes closed and my mind shrapnelled
that we are going down
but not in history, we're sinking like a mystery
like Atlantis once so proud
just a shadow deep down underground
bring the
pain back – my brain is at its best when I am turning it into a total
trainwreck – next time that 'm high I will just write myself a valid mental
raincheck – so I might enlight without looking for the needle in the drunken
haystack – but oh, the rules just won't apply here for a straight edge
no - you just can't find the truth back on the sober side
it's just like waking up is one big override
you will have to get back into the twilight
hoping for a longer ride
so I'm again
down - down – down to my last braincell
I can finally see with my eyes closed and my mind shrapnelled
that we are going down
but not in history, we’re sinking like a mystery
like Atlantis once so proud
just a shadow deep down underground
on the bottom lies the past, in our memory fading fast
the only things that ever last are unsolved riddles minds can't grasp
so I made it my main quest to test this mind on loops and gaps
find the defective synapse that will open up the golden chest
warp my
vision – I know one more way how you can pick up bits of underlying
wisdom – when you fall asleep there will – be a second when you hear the elders
whisper – telling secrets that make you believe you figured out the riddles of
existence - but oh, the clarity is always just a drifter
no, you just can't grasp the essence of the overmind
it's just like waking up is one big override
you will have to get back into the twilight
hoping for a longer ride
so now that I'm down down down, down down down
so now that I'm down down down, down down down down down to my last braincell
I can finally see with my eyes closed and my mind shrapnelled
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7. |
Rack Attacker
03:34
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something is wrong, I cannot belong in a world that craves for fun
when I'm always on the run for something I can't gun down
I'll never see a sundown till the day I'm wrung out
strung up from the roof
cannot make a move, with that much left to prove
still addicted to lose, cause it's an epic way to bruise
will never find my groove until the day I lose this
self-destructive search for blues
all my life I ran from pleasure
thought the pain would suit me better
now I feel, I'll never find the treasure
so I just wanna be a rack attacker
even when the mood is rising I fuck up the horizon
unable to lay eyes on any pretty scenery
what could it ever mean to me
caught in between a dream and an unusable reality
all my life I ran from pleasure
thought the pain would suit me better
now I think, I'll never find the treasure
so I just wanna be a rack attacker
oh, if I just gave it up
I might just one day find my luck
I could be dancing in your club
I would be prancing like a schmock
and all the while I would be smiling with a hollow heart of self-deceit
'cause deep inside I would still feel the need to find my glory in defeat
and so I bleed… and drop the bead
all my life I ran from pleasure
thought the pain would suit me better
now I know, I'll never find the treasure
so I just wanna be a rack attacker
I was born tonight, tonight I lost my life
tonight I'm 25 or anything I'd ever like
you'll believe my lies when I creep inside your mind
and give you the illusion that none of us would... ever have to die
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8. |
Dialectic Disorder I
06:38
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my soul is free my future lies ahead
imprisoned in a mind that's too short-sighted to adapt
a million ways to make my life fulfilled
and I hate all of them, have no ambition and no will
everything's been done before, what is the fucking point
just push the limits on and you will see there's more to find
I only wanna die and just be left the fuck alone
but I have so much more to say and all the things I know cannot just be gone
I'm dead on! I am wrong!
schizophrenia, hypomania, bipolar, borderline
all these never did quite work for me
add a pinch of self-despising hate for your divinity
and I cooked up my very own disease
dialectic disorder, I'm close to the border
moodswings in seconds, light-hearted to blackened
should I ignite, make this world my bride
should I combust, give in to my frustrations
I must pick one of my sides but I can't decide
'cause I'm caught inside a dialectic disorder
these people are so stupid, a plague would be the cure
everyone is born an angel with a heart that's pure
this life is just a prison cell, I'm rotting in this cage
this world is big and wonderful and every place is waiting to be your stage
the mysteries of life excite my mind
and you can live forever but an answer you won't find
the wonders, they amaze me, there is so much to explore
and the shit will all burn anyways, when in five billion years the sun explodes
I am bored! I am stoked!
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9. |
Dialectic Disorder II
04:31
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10. |
Alive When I Can Rot
04:38
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once more – cuddling in myself
the sound of this old broken record
makes me feel like I am home
too late – to find the cure
the poison of my misery
it keeps me sane, it keeps me warm
don’t fear – that I might drown
as long as this mind swims in circles
I won’t see I’m all alone
don’t wake me up
I feel alive, when I can rot
you may be fine, chasing your life
but I am not, no I am not
don’t wake me up
I feel alive, when I can rot
inside my hive of broken thoughts
I feel like god, yes I am god
so please excuse my blashphemy
but I’m just so caught up inside o' me
that not even your god could set me free
my life is a dirty sketch
I keep the colours off the picture
to make a point that noone gets
so scared – to feel content
cause happiness would mean stagnation
serenity’s creation’s end
sink down – down ye old pond
cause at the bottom of the lake
the biggest fish waits to be caught
and though I still speak god-damn blasphemy
this is the only fitting way for me
a lowlife living his supremacy
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11. |
Nothing on Top
04:02
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you know I'm new here, my toes tell me to quit you slut
my thoughts are dark but crystal clear
you know I want you, want you near
you made us one, then you balk, face my fist, strip the talk, yeah
I’m here cause there is no other place that’s home, my home
I‘m not so fond of what I’ve grown
should be heading out - drop the crown
your sallow skin, got it well
raise your head now we’re thin, yeah
the day that’s passed takes care of what?
and I can see nothing on top
no I will never crush this fence
I know where I can't roam
the day that's passed takes care of what
and I can see nothing on top
I know you ignore less life itching my skin
so long, I hate that you are fine
I have to give up, give up god
we won’t grow old, keep me close, shut your mouth, we are sold, yeah
can’t tell you what is, now what is wrong with me, what’s up?
there’s nothing my day will let me add
so go to hell or where we were born
I’m true today, what have you, have you come, come and sworn, yeah
it hurts more than tomorrow can
one less life I can deny
and I can’t tell you what is wrong
'cause you keep talking forever long
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12. |
Trapped in Hell
04:24
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shit man, I need a hitman for myself
maybe to split my brain in half
a little axe between the ears
so that the left won’t have to hear
no more shit from the right hemisphere, because
I can’t stand my constant nagging
always seem to drag myself in
conversations with a madman
stupid shit you can’t imagine
and that goes a little something like this:
man, you suck, stupid little schmock
wish somebody would just hit you with a fucking truck
I never get a break and I’m always outta luck
this life is like a cage and I am completely stuck
if you two don’t just shut up, I swear, I’ll pull the fucking plug
release me from myself
this is my final cry for help
I can’t breath within my shell
it feels like I am trapped in hell
shit man, I need a hitman for myself
unloading in my chest a round of shells
to open up my heart towards the world
and finally make an end to this disturbed
excuse for a life, that i try to preserve
just excuses not to let go
sole reclusive in the shadows
in the gates stuck from the get-go
could at least have made someone widow
but busy with my wood like Gepetto
always: first things first, I need to jerk my thirst
immerse in the perversion that became my curse
rehearsing all the versions of the perfect girl
which nurtures the aversion to personal intercourse
as every burst takes me further away from the world
I built this prison on my own and mistook it for a throne
in my kingdom I’m alone
I milked this schism for what it’s worth, now I need a rebirth
find a way to lift this curse
help me lift this curse, kill this demon
deliver my rebirth, give me freedom
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